Saturday, June 22, 2013

Just Keep Moving

So as I take a look back at this past week I am not very happy with my progress at all. I've been having a lot of trouble with my stomach lately and it seems like everything I eat upsets it somehow. I get bloated, or gassy or sick feeling and it's just not comfortable. This of course has led to very moderate workouts and not being able to jog at all. I keep pushing hoping that my body will recover sooner than later, but up to this point it's simply not on the same page with me at all. I'm frustrated about it and can't figure out what the heck is going on now.

I look back at the two other times in the past couple of years that I have started workout regiments and I notice a common thread. When I started using the Pink Method program in December of 2011 I hit it strong for about 2 1/2 months before foot and back pain made it impossible to continue the workouts. When I got my gym membership to Planet Fitness in 2012 I went strong for about 2 1/2 months before I ended up having to have oral surgery and found out I have plantar fasciitis in my feet and degenerative arthritis in my back. I've been vegetarian and working out five days a week for about 2 1/2 months now and my body seems to be rebelling yet again. What the heck is it with the 2 1/2 month mark? I can't even make it to 90 days without something  coming up and causing me to either quit working out altogether or to prevent me from working out for an extended period of time. I feel like someone has hit the "broken" button and I am not able to perform at the levels I was previously.

I know that hitting plateaus is normal in weight loss and exercise. You have to gradually challenge yourself in order for your body not to become used to the workouts you do and to allow you to continue to gain strength and stamina. I am to the point where 5 miles isn't much of a challenge for me to walk anymore. Jogging is another story however, I'm back down to maybe doing 1/2 a mile at a time before needing to slow down to a walk. I was up to running a 10 minute mile at one point then everything went downhill from there for some odd reason. Due to my inability to figure out what is going on I have become frustrated and definitely not having a winning mind set recently. There were two days this week I didn't work out at all due to feeling super sick to my stomach. I'm hoping just to take a deep breath and figure out where I need to go from here.

It's time to reevaluate my exercise plan. It's time to cut the last "bad" habit I have out of my diet which is dairy products. I feel horrid when I eat any sort of dairy and the bloating is insane. Yes I am lactose intolerant I have been since I was born but now instead of simple intolerance it seems more like lactose "don't even think about it or I will make you wish you were dead". I have cut out caffeine as well again. I had gotten into the habit of drinking my international brand flavored coffee beverages in the morning and even that started causing issues. They were the first thing to go. So now it's water, tea or occasionally juice. I think my problem with this is that I have already cut so much out of my diet, I'm wondering how much more I'll have to eliminate for my body to be comfortable again. I swear some days I don't even want to eat, it's such a chore now. I used to eat because I liked food and I thought that food brought me comfort, now I eat because I have to in order to stay alive. I can honestly say that my love affair with food is so very over and it honestly doesn't bring me pleasure now.

So I have been battling with myself at this crossroads. I want to just throw in the towel some days and say "forget it I'm done trying to achieve something that I never will." Then I look at my progress the past couple of years and I think to myself "You've come this far and you didn't put the weight on in 2 years so obviously you're not going to lose it all in 2 years." I know it's a struggle and I know that it's a long journey to get where I want to be. I'm just tired of the battle being so arduous and the deck seems stacked against me constantly. I watch shows like The Biggest Loser and I see that hard work and determination do pay off. I don't expect to get those types of results because those people work out like 6 hours a day or more doing hardcore cardio. I am not that amazing yet, I could possibly do 2 hours but that would be my limit I think. I'm down in the 180's which I haven't been since I was 3 months pregnant with my son (11 years ago). I am making strides, I was just hoping that the strides would be a tad bigger than they have been. I'm not a patient person in any sense of the term, so waiting for my body to accept the exercise and diet changes and to respond with a weight loss is very difficult for me most days. I want to be thinner now! I want to have flat abs now! I want to look good in a swimsuit now!

I will continue to workout and hopefully all this bloating and stomach issue will pass and I can start to feel better over time. I can't go back to laying in bed and feeling sorry for myself anymore or stuffing my face with crap because I don't want to take the time to make healthy choices. I need to find my "I can" button and push that sucker in so hard that it won't ever come undone again!

It wouldn't hurt to look like that!

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