Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Pushing through my blahs

Not sure what my issue is lately but I have had a serious case of the blahs. I just don't want to do anything. I have been sleeping more than usual because I am tired all the time. This could be a side effect from many different things. I am not a doctor so I'm not going to try to self diagnose myself. Despite my crummy demeanor I've gone to the gym yesterday and today. I have pushed myself to make sure I do my strength workout properly. I have even added in the ab workout now that my core is strong enough to support that sort of workout. My abs are killing me right about now, however I know that the results will be worth the sore muscles in the end.

The biggest issue I have had lately is with my legs. I'm not sure if it's poor circulation or what, but when I work out my legs are going numb. When I try to sleep at night they ache or tingle and my feet either go numb or hurt something awful. I haven't noticed any discoloration except that sometimes my toes look a little purple when I've been on my feet awhile. I know I need to get to a doctor and have it all checked out since artery issues run in my family. My mother was diagnosed with hardening of the arteries in her 40's. She had to have a complete lower aortal bypass in order for her legs and feet to get circulation. It worries me that I may have a blockage somewhere. I guess it's better to get it taken care of sooner than later, while I'm still young and my body will heal nicely. I just hate going to the doctor because I always feel like I'm just whining. I plan on making an appointment soon and will update here as I find answers. Hopefully they will tell me it's just restless leg syndrome and can easily correct it.

It's gotten to the point where I hate getting dressed these days. My clothes don't fit. My underwear don't fit. My bras don't fit. It's annoying. I love the fact that I'm losing inches like crazy and I'm getting back the curves that I haven't seen since before I had my son. Having to replace my entire wardrobe just seems tedious. Clothing is just so darned expensive and I hate spending money on myself, it makes me feel guilty. However soon enough I won't be able to wear anything in my closet and a wardrobe update will be necessary not just convenient. I guess I should start with the under garments and go from there. It's just funny because I wear all these over sized clothes all the time so I still look big. Then I get undressed at night to get ready for bed and I'm sporting a flat stomach and am not near as bulky as those clothes make me look. I've noticed that when I work out whether it be at the gym or outside that my shirts are getting in my way. They don't sit right on me and all that extra material makes me hot, which makes me grumpy while I'm working out.

My eating lately as I posted in my last entry has been portion-tastic. I've noticed that I am simply more hungry now that I have increased my activity. I had two hot dogs (gluten free) today for lunch instead of my usual one. I'm eating bigger breakfasts and trying to do smaller dinners. I have been indulging on ice cream and chocolate lately but last week was my week to celebrate being a woman, so I don't feel bad about eating desserts. It hasn't impacted my weight so I'm going to count that as a blessing and try to make healthier choices for the rest of this month.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Week of Blur

It seems like this past week flew by in a blur. Towards the end of the week I seemed to be super busy with back to school shopping for my son. He starts 5th grade in two weeks and he needed school supplies and a few more school clothes to kick off the year. I was in "gotta get it done" mode for the past 3 days. Yesterday I spent a few hours out with a friend of mine whom I haven't spent time with in a long time. It was nice to get out of the house and have a girl day. Once girl day was over though, I had to do grocery shopping and get back to my routine of being domestic.

For some reason I feel like I have missed something. I don't know why. Maybe it's because even though I've been active I haven't been to the gym lately. I'm not sure, but I feel like the past few days have passed and there was something that I was supposed to do and didn't. It's annoying and I'm sure if I ever figure it out I'll feel better.

I'm down to 191 pounds and holding. I thought I may have gained a couple pounds since my birthday because we've been eating at restaurants more than usual and my food choices have been ok but the portions have been in the "food coma" category. I feel this need lately to eat huge portions. Not sure if my body simply needs more since I upped my workouts or if it's the addict side of me that just wants it all. Maybe I'm comfort eating and don't realize it? But it doesn't happen every day. It's sporadic. Could be hormonal, I have no clue. I just thought it was weird the other day when we went to a Mexican place for lunch and I literally had to push plates away from myself so I would stop eating it. I felt ravenous and just went for it. So much cheese! Luckily my little food comas have not affected my weight any and tomorrow I can get back onto the strength training and cardio band wagon.

The end of this month I will have a meeting with my trainer for my 12 week re-evaluation. The reps for my strength training exercises will increase as will the weights for them. He may add more to my routine or choose to eliminate things. I'm not sure yet how it will all develop. I'm a little worried that I've not really tried as hard as I could have to get myself in shape. However I can't let doubt get in the way of the progress I have made. It's a slow progression. It took a few years for me to pack on the pounds and for muscle groups to weaken. It's going to take time to fix what I broke and become healthy and strong again. I am a worrier though and when results aren't instantaneous or quick to be seen, then I panic thinking I've done something wrong. Old habits are hard to break and even harder to change into positives.

On an excited note, while I was out shopping yesterday I tried on a size 14 pants and they fit! Once I lose a couple more inches off my thighs a 12 will be able to fit comfortably too. My thighs need that extra space even though a 14 is still a tiny bit big at the waist. I also tried on a large shirt and was able to get it on comfortably. It's been a number of years since I've worn a large anything. I've been in XL or XXL for too long. When I started this journey I was in a 18/20 size pants. Now a 12/14 is in my immediate future and it seems unreal to me. Inches are just falling off me like crazy and I'm amazed at how different my body looks now compared to a year ago. My fortune yesterday in my fortune cookie was "You are tasting the sweets of success". At first I didn't understand, how am I successful I'm not even employed right now? Then it hit me, my weight loss is a success, duh! I have definitely been excited about those changes recently.

Hopefully as the cooler months approach us I'll be able to keep up my motivation and not end up with seasonal depression. By summer next year I want to have that flat stomach that I know is under this little layer of fat. I want to be able to mark some more goals off my list that I made back in June. I might even enjoy the thought of bathing suit shopping if I can keep myself motivated and moving through the winter. I have quite a bit to look forward to I believe and hopefully everyone reading this will enjoy the ride with me!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Measurement Time:

It's that time again. Another month of exercise and healthy eating (with the exception of a few cheat days) and the measurements are in folks: 

Weight: 191 lbs 

Waist: 36 inches

Chest: 33.5 inches

Bicep: 14 inches (no change from last month)

Thigh: 23.5 inches

Calf: 14.5 inches

Hips: 41 inches

There was a loss in all areas from July 1st measurements, except for my biceps are still the same size. 

There was a 4 pound weight loss. There is a 2 inch loss for my waist. There is a 3 inch loss for my chest. There is a 2.5 inch loss for my thighs. There is a 1/2 inch loss for my calves. There is a 4.5 inch loss for my hips. Total inches lost in my second month is 12.5.

I think I had a productive month, what do you think?