Sunday, August 5, 2012

Week of Blur

It seems like this past week flew by in a blur. Towards the end of the week I seemed to be super busy with back to school shopping for my son. He starts 5th grade in two weeks and he needed school supplies and a few more school clothes to kick off the year. I was in "gotta get it done" mode for the past 3 days. Yesterday I spent a few hours out with a friend of mine whom I haven't spent time with in a long time. It was nice to get out of the house and have a girl day. Once girl day was over though, I had to do grocery shopping and get back to my routine of being domestic.

For some reason I feel like I have missed something. I don't know why. Maybe it's because even though I've been active I haven't been to the gym lately. I'm not sure, but I feel like the past few days have passed and there was something that I was supposed to do and didn't. It's annoying and I'm sure if I ever figure it out I'll feel better.

I'm down to 191 pounds and holding. I thought I may have gained a couple pounds since my birthday because we've been eating at restaurants more than usual and my food choices have been ok but the portions have been in the "food coma" category. I feel this need lately to eat huge portions. Not sure if my body simply needs more since I upped my workouts or if it's the addict side of me that just wants it all. Maybe I'm comfort eating and don't realize it? But it doesn't happen every day. It's sporadic. Could be hormonal, I have no clue. I just thought it was weird the other day when we went to a Mexican place for lunch and I literally had to push plates away from myself so I would stop eating it. I felt ravenous and just went for it. So much cheese! Luckily my little food comas have not affected my weight any and tomorrow I can get back onto the strength training and cardio band wagon.

The end of this month I will have a meeting with my trainer for my 12 week re-evaluation. The reps for my strength training exercises will increase as will the weights for them. He may add more to my routine or choose to eliminate things. I'm not sure yet how it will all develop. I'm a little worried that I've not really tried as hard as I could have to get myself in shape. However I can't let doubt get in the way of the progress I have made. It's a slow progression. It took a few years for me to pack on the pounds and for muscle groups to weaken. It's going to take time to fix what I broke and become healthy and strong again. I am a worrier though and when results aren't instantaneous or quick to be seen, then I panic thinking I've done something wrong. Old habits are hard to break and even harder to change into positives.

On an excited note, while I was out shopping yesterday I tried on a size 14 pants and they fit! Once I lose a couple more inches off my thighs a 12 will be able to fit comfortably too. My thighs need that extra space even though a 14 is still a tiny bit big at the waist. I also tried on a large shirt and was able to get it on comfortably. It's been a number of years since I've worn a large anything. I've been in XL or XXL for too long. When I started this journey I was in a 18/20 size pants. Now a 12/14 is in my immediate future and it seems unreal to me. Inches are just falling off me like crazy and I'm amazed at how different my body looks now compared to a year ago. My fortune yesterday in my fortune cookie was "You are tasting the sweets of success". At first I didn't understand, how am I successful I'm not even employed right now? Then it hit me, my weight loss is a success, duh! I have definitely been excited about those changes recently.

Hopefully as the cooler months approach us I'll be able to keep up my motivation and not end up with seasonal depression. By summer next year I want to have that flat stomach that I know is under this little layer of fat. I want to be able to mark some more goals off my list that I made back in June. I might even enjoy the thought of bathing suit shopping if I can keep myself motivated and moving through the winter. I have quite a bit to look forward to I believe and hopefully everyone reading this will enjoy the ride with me!

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