Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Pushing through my blahs

Not sure what my issue is lately but I have had a serious case of the blahs. I just don't want to do anything. I have been sleeping more than usual because I am tired all the time. This could be a side effect from many different things. I am not a doctor so I'm not going to try to self diagnose myself. Despite my crummy demeanor I've gone to the gym yesterday and today. I have pushed myself to make sure I do my strength workout properly. I have even added in the ab workout now that my core is strong enough to support that sort of workout. My abs are killing me right about now, however I know that the results will be worth the sore muscles in the end.

The biggest issue I have had lately is with my legs. I'm not sure if it's poor circulation or what, but when I work out my legs are going numb. When I try to sleep at night they ache or tingle and my feet either go numb or hurt something awful. I haven't noticed any discoloration except that sometimes my toes look a little purple when I've been on my feet awhile. I know I need to get to a doctor and have it all checked out since artery issues run in my family. My mother was diagnosed with hardening of the arteries in her 40's. She had to have a complete lower aortal bypass in order for her legs and feet to get circulation. It worries me that I may have a blockage somewhere. I guess it's better to get it taken care of sooner than later, while I'm still young and my body will heal nicely. I just hate going to the doctor because I always feel like I'm just whining. I plan on making an appointment soon and will update here as I find answers. Hopefully they will tell me it's just restless leg syndrome and can easily correct it.

It's gotten to the point where I hate getting dressed these days. My clothes don't fit. My underwear don't fit. My bras don't fit. It's annoying. I love the fact that I'm losing inches like crazy and I'm getting back the curves that I haven't seen since before I had my son. Having to replace my entire wardrobe just seems tedious. Clothing is just so darned expensive and I hate spending money on myself, it makes me feel guilty. However soon enough I won't be able to wear anything in my closet and a wardrobe update will be necessary not just convenient. I guess I should start with the under garments and go from there. It's just funny because I wear all these over sized clothes all the time so I still look big. Then I get undressed at night to get ready for bed and I'm sporting a flat stomach and am not near as bulky as those clothes make me look. I've noticed that when I work out whether it be at the gym or outside that my shirts are getting in my way. They don't sit right on me and all that extra material makes me hot, which makes me grumpy while I'm working out.

My eating lately as I posted in my last entry has been portion-tastic. I've noticed that I am simply more hungry now that I have increased my activity. I had two hot dogs (gluten free) today for lunch instead of my usual one. I'm eating bigger breakfasts and trying to do smaller dinners. I have been indulging on ice cream and chocolate lately but last week was my week to celebrate being a woman, so I don't feel bad about eating desserts. It hasn't impacted my weight so I'm going to count that as a blessing and try to make healthier choices for the rest of this month.

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