Everyone has bad days and yesterday was mine. It seemed like everything I did failed and I spent most of the day in a depressed Eeyore like mood. It started when I woke up and decided to make some fresh orange juice in my awesome Breville Juicer. I pulled out my oranges and my pitcher for the juice and I started popping those oranges in the juicer and having a good ol' time. I put the pitcher in the fridge to cool because who likes warm oj right? Then I poured a glass for my son and my husband. This was the most bitter awful orange juice ever! Neither of them could drink it. I tried adding some Splenda to my son's glass and that didn't help. I added some juiced apples to the mix hoping it would curb the bitterness, nope. I was mortified. The reason it was so bitter was because I didn't peel the oranges before juicing them and the zest got into the juice. Well I have a whole pitcher of juice now that no one will drink and I don't want to waste, so I'm going to drink it myself. Lesson learned, peel oranges before juicing them even if the juicer will handle the oranges whole.
As I was taking an inventory of our food supplies I realized that the $160 or so dollars we spent on groceries last week was gone. I did not shop smart and I bought a whole lot less than I thought I did. We are out of meat, we are out of lunch options for my son and my husband and we are out of quick breakfasts for my son, including juice (since my oj experiment failed). What was I thinking when I went shopping, was I thinking at all? I was so pissed yesterday when I discovered that we were needing to go grocery shopping again. What the heck? My new plan of action is to buy meats at the local grocery store and to buy fresh fruits and vegetables at the farmer's market. So I'll be shopping at two places, no big deal. I can still buy clean, healthy foods for my family I just have to plan my shopping trips better and know ahead of time what items I'm buying where.
My husband didn't heed my advice when we went to the park on Saturday and he didn't put on sunscreen. My son and I did because I know how badly we burn even when it's not super warm outside. Well my hubby was sick most of yesterday with dehydration and a headache so he wasn't feeling up to par at all. I pressured him into trying to help me put together my son's bed frame so we could get his bed up and ready for him finally. We got about a quarter of the way through it and one of the pieces completely broke. The wood splintered and there is no way we can continue without that piece. I almost bawled because we broke my son's new bed trying to put it together and I ripped open the box it came in so it wasn't like I can just package it up and send it back to Ikea. I get to call customer service today to figure out if they will refund us for the bed or if they will send us a new piece to replace the one that splintered. I'd rather have the refund but since there is no way to repackage the bed for return I'm not sure how I would do that. Epic fail yet again.
I had been doing laundry all day since our pile had started to get scary. The laundry room is right outside our bedroom door so it tends to make our room a little warm. After the bed incident my husband goes into our room and lets me know that it's sweltering in there. That ended my laundry chores for the day because he was watching TV in the bedroom yesterday and having it too warm in there with him already dehydrated and feeling like crap was not an option. I just couldn't do anything right.
I made dinner later than usual which got complaints from my son who was "starving". I made BBQ pork ribs, macaroni and cheese and cucumber slices. Well my husband hates ribs, so he wasn't happy. The macaroni and cheese didn't have enough cheese on it, so my son wasn't happy. I gave up. I was so upset and angry by the time dinner was over that I didn't even do the dishes, I just put the food away and left the kitchen.
I was up until well past my bedtime because I was so stressed and sad. It just seemed like everything I did was wrong, or stupid or failed. Why the heck even bother right? I know everyone has bad days so I guess that yesterday was my turn for my day of awful feelings and self loathing. It has carried over into today a bit as I feel pretty numb this morning and emotionally drained. I have so much to do today and all I want to do is go back to bed. I can't let it get me down, I have to "pick myself back up" and start a new day. Sometimes I just get tired of "picking myself back up", you know what I mean?
1 comment:
Instead of putting so much pressure on yourself break things down into managable chunks. You are asking too much of yourself and not taking care of you. I haven't seen in this post where you did anything for yourself.
Ikea is awesome about pieces and you'll get it done - it doesn't have to be done today. Remember that what your feeling is anxiety and depression...that isn't you that is the stuff in you.
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