Tuesday, December 11, 2012
I Think I Can, I Think I Can
It's a good thing that something in my brain stopped me from calling into work yesterday because my co-worker did and if I had also been out the two new workers would have been in a hole so deep they might not ever have seen the light of day. Despite how horrible I felt I trudged into the office with my pretty pink umbrella (because it was pouring outside yesterday morning) and I helped to reign in the chaos. We were able to get completely caught up and everything ran smoothly and it was overall a very productive day. There was no need for overtime yesterday so I escaped from work at my usual 5:30 time slot and headed home.
I didn't feel like cooking so I microwaved some leftovers for the family. I wasn't a bit hungry due to having a late lunch and I decided to go upstairs and lay down. I read a few more pages in the book I started yesterday then to avoid going to sleep decided to watch a movie instead. I was trying to keep myself awake because if I had fallen asleep when I wanted to I would have been up at a ridiculous time this morning and that would have not been a good thing. After two movies my sleep mask went on and I curled up, my fever had returned so it took me a bit but sleep finally found me.
This morning I still feel crummy. My eyes are dry, I have the sniffles and my body feels like it's made of bricks. It's freezing outside and I'm not looking forward to having to go out in it. I hate the cold weather, I'm much happier in the heat and warmth of sunnier parts of the year, that's for sure. I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep until my body is over this sickness. I crave the warmth of my blankets and the comfort of my memory foam mattress. I want to be sick and not have to be responsible for anything. However, that is not the case for many adults. The world doesn't stop just because you don't feel good. I still have chores to do, work to manage, meals to prepare, a dog to take out, a child and husband to care for, laundry to do because I am dangerously close to going to work in my pajamas and I still haven't put up the Christmas tree. Just thinking about everything that needs to be done brings on a depression and that feeling of overwhelming failure because I am just not in the holiday spirit or the positive go-getter attitude enough to get anything done. My brain continues to try to shut my body down but I can't let it happen. I have to push on and be the responsible adult I agreed to be when I became a Mom and a wife. I have no idea why I was in such a hurry to grow up when I was a child, being an adult is not all its cracked up to be, that's for sure!