Recently I have been working out like a trooper. Pushing myself to the very limit of my capabilities. Thinking that the harder I push the more benefit I'll see from all that sweat and those curse words uttered under my breath. I have accomplished pulling some muscles in my stomach/ab area that is causing some major pain issues. The pain is causing nausea and difficulty moving about at any sort of speed. I am so irritated by this. I went to the gym this morning, despite feeling like crap. It was not the thing to do. I completed my 30 minutes of cardio and promptly hit the bathroom to throw up. Lovely! What a great reward for pushing myself on that elliptical machine. I came home frustrated and irritable. I napped this afternoon some but didn't wake up feeling any better. I am going to reluctantly take tomorrow off from the gym so maybe I can slowly move around and get those muscles back into a decent working order.
It just seems like every time I try to take the steps I need to get healthy, something happens to set me back. I hurt myself, I get depressed and quit working out, I comfort eat and blow my calorie intake for the day, etc etc. I know that all these factors are completely controllable and not something that is beyond my control, however it just seems like the small obstacles pop up and become big pains soon thereafter. I really want to lose this damn weight. I'm tired of seeing pictures of myself where I look pregnant or like I have some sort of metabolic condition. It has taken me 9 years to get to this size, so I understand that it's probably going to take 2-3 years for me to take off the weight and build body strength. Maybe longer depending on my metabolism and thyroid function. In the meantime I have changed my diet and eliminated a lot of unnecessary "junk" from my diet as well.
I no longer drink coffee. This is a huge thing for me because there was a time when I simply couldn't function without it. I love Starbucks and I love brewing my fru-fru coffee at home where I can add delicious creamers and flavors to it. However, when I discovered that I suffer from a gluten allergy, I also discovered that there is a protein in coffee that reacts in your body the same way that gluten does. It wasn't the caffeine that I was reacting too, it was the protein in the coffee that was sending my cells into fight mode. I no longer drink caffeinated beverages either, just to be on the safe side. Carbonated drinks cause serious stomach bloat, so I have eliminated those as well because gas pains are almost as bad as pain from consuming gluten. I am working on cutting out dairy, since I also am lactose intolerant.
It seems like I've had to eliminate quite a bit of comfort out of my daily routine. I am adjusting to the new way of eating and drinking. I drink mostly water now, occasionally I'll have tea. I prefer flavored green teas if I can get them. I've tried products to flavor my water (Mio, Crystal Light), however I don't like the aftertaste or sweetness of most of these products. Instead I bought a really bright colorful water bottle that I can't help but notice it sitting there and I use it daily to get my 100 ounces of water. I also use an app called Waterlogged which sends me hourly reminders to drink my water and I can log how much I am drinking per day. It helps give me a visual of how I'm doing with charts and graphs and what I need to do to meet goals if I don't make them that day.
Since I don't have a workout partner, I have decided to use Fitocracy to log my workouts and keep track of things regarding my fitness goals. I get tips and recipes from other people in the community of Fitocrats who are also working on getting healthy and losing weight. Reading posts and seeing that other people have the same issues I have or the same questions I have is comforting. You gain levels as you log workouts on the site and there are various other things you can participate in, like quests and achievements. You can join groups that suit your needs or just meet new people and follow their journey. I like being social, even if it is only online.
Going through changes is rough. The human race is dependent and comfortable with what is familiar to them. I have chosen to move away from what I am comfortable with in order to regain my health. My family does not have a history of healthy genetics, I don't want to give my body any reason to become ill or weak before it's time. I lost my sister this year to cancer and I lost my mother in 2006 to cancer. I don't want my family to have to go through that with me because I didn't take care of myself or bad habits from years ago finally caught up with me. We get one chance at life and I'm tired of living mine on autopilot. It's time to make changes, it's time to live for what I want and it's time to stop being afraid of failure because the only failure in life comes from not trying.